The New Love of My Life

I have some serious commitment issues. Something about the idea of choosing something and sticking to it makes my blood run cold. Arctic Circle in a bathing suit cold.  I start seeing the negatives that were always there, hidden by the rosy glow of indecision. And things I’m afraid of losing? Those I’ll commit to like a drug addiction…until I have them. Let’s just call me exceptionally fickle.

Until about a week ago. I was, once again, put in a position of commitment. I’ve just recently gotten more freedom than I’ve ever had: out of college, single, subletting a different apartment every month, not tied down by a job…really, I don’t think it gets any freer.

So, when I was given the option of committing, I knew part of me was going to protest. My brain was going to argue that I should enjoy freedom longer, not get stuck so that I wouldn’t want to leave should I be offered a great, long-term acting gig outside of the city. I should stay solo. But the other half of me knew this was too good to not commit to: beautiful,  great company, and with everything I am looking for…

That’s right, I am sitting at my own desk right now, surrounded by my own things in my new apartment. And I love it. I will forcefully suggest that anyone else who might think moving into a 5th floor walk up without movers sounds like a good idea get their head checked, but after one absolutely exhausting day, I am settled in and completely overjoyed to have somewhere to call home, with roommates I am actually friends with, in an apartment we all chose together. I might be in love with this place. Head over heels in love.

So, maybe I should reevaluate my opinions on commitment. Rethink my rather negative stance on relationships, get a dog, plan something further into the future than two weeks…or maybe I should just take baby steps.

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7 responses to “The New Love of My Life

  1. beautyunconventional

    I wish I had your commitment issues. I get overly committed to things that don’t even happen!

  2. Don’t get a dog. You can’t leave a dog alone- They’re too needy. However, you can leave a boy a lone (you might want to leave the toilet seat up and throw him a few treats if you do.

  3. Baby steps are my favorite kind of steps! I’m so happy for you ❤

  4. Rich Of the Clan Cantwell

    1) Dogs rule, and as a performer you can bring them anywhere without an issue, including auditions and rehearsals (they’ll think you’re eccentric or awesome, both of which make thee a more appealing candidate. Make sure the dog is not a dick).
    2) I’m gonna go ahead and say that as a mover, I myself wouldn’t want to do a job that involves carrying heavy things up five floors with no elevator. That’s what we call a bad time.
    3) Good for you kid, have fun and good luck out there!

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