A couple of weeks before New Year’s Eve, I made the conscious decision to ask my manager to put me on the schedule that night. It seemed like it might be a fun experience-working at an Irish pub on New Year’s Eve-and was a good way to mix up my usual go-to-a-party-and-drink-a-beer-or-two plans. To my surprise, she took my idea and ran with it: I ended up scheduled for both New Year’s Eve AND New Year’s Day, along with several of my coworkers. So, herein follows a guide/warning/informational list of what could/might/will happen if you work at an Irish Pub on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. I hope my suffering saves you from the same fate.
1. You will have to pre-game at a boozy brunch. Accept this, stop complaining, and enjoy your mimosa.
2.You will buy copious amounts of glitter and spray yourself and your coworkers with it.
3. You will realize that spraying yourself with glitter will cause you to smell like a can of aerosol hair spray. You will then realize that you don’t care, find your coworkers, sneak into the dj booth and spray more glitter.
4. The restaurant you work for will inform you upon arrival that the chef did not show up. You will still be serving food, however. How? By only offering massively expensive platters that will make customers laugh in your face when you suggest them. If they do order them (out of sheer desperation and acute hunger), you will call your sister restaurant. They will make the food, and the busser will run back and forth in the freezing weather to deliver the food. Genius plan. No holes in that one.
5. You will be offered a shot of Fireball whiskey by the bartenders when you go to grab drinks for customers. Drink these. They help.
6. Pizza will be ordered for the staff and put in the kitchen area. It’s okay if you neglect your tables while you finish your slice. They need this time to reconsider doing their third Jager Bomb before 9:30.
7. You delivered a drink? Good for you! Time for another shot.
8. You will wear as many tiaras/beads/hats/glasses/pins as you can find emblazoned with “2013” or “Happy New Year.” This makes you look festive and approachable.
9. You, being the single, attractive (what, with all the glitter and paraphernalia) 20-something you are, will be singled out by the 40-something year old Texan. He will ask you for your number no less than 7 times within an hour of getting to the bar. Go to the bar and get another shot.
10. At midnight, the dj will forget to turn off the music for a countdown because he is drunk. Everyone will, over the course of the next ten minutes, realize that it is 2013. You will kiss your chosen person (there has GOT to be a better way to say that), your coworkers, and half the bar. Accept this. Drink copious amounts of champagne.
11. Continue to serve, even though you have had far too many shots.
12. Stumble home, fall asleep immediately, and get ready for a fuzzy start to the New Year.